Authenticity is about being our most natural self.
Our impulses, instincts, thoughts, feelings, and intuitions freely arise within us without being judged, condemned, repressed, or resisted by ourselves.
This is the easiest thing in the world, until it isn’t.
Growing up, we are faced with many difficulties.
We need love, approval, safety, shelter, food, and much more.
We are born into a world that we know nothing about (and will continue to know little to nothing about for the rest of our lives).
We need to survive.
We need to make sense of the world.
We need to get our needs met.
How do we do this?
By manipulating and "twisting" who we naturally are in order to fit into the context in which we are growing up.
We adopt behaviours, beliefs, emotional patterns, relational styles, and much more from our parents, teachers, and authority figures.
We repress the parts of ourselves that people disapprove of in order to get our needs met.
This all happens unconsciously.
Over years of doing this, our authentic self, our most natural expression, are buried under layers of deception and manipulation.
In order to survive, we must gain the approval of the people around us.
We feel this very deeply at a young age.
We need Mommy to approve of us.
We need Daddy to approve of us.
We need the teachers to approve of us.
We need the priests to approve of us.
We need to be aligned with science, or else we’re "denying the facts" or "irrational".
We need to adopt the beliefs of the environment in which we are being raised.
We need to "filter out" our thoughts, feelings, emotions, intuitions, instincts, and behaviours that will go against our ability to survive.
This all happens in the blink of an eye.
You age and become 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, and so on.
This conditioning you have piled up seems like "who you are" or "my authentic self".
Meanwhile, it is a bunch of manipulation, hiding, and deceptive tactics that you have picked up in order to survive.
Your authenticity is lost—or is it?
As we evolve our consciousness, we become aware of our ego.
The self we believe we are.
The constructs and stories we tell ourselves about who we are.
The image we believe ourselves to be.
The conditioning that we think we are.
As we become more aware of this, we realize it is not who we actually are.
As we feel our repressed emotions.
As we let go of control and manipulation.
As we stop deceiving ourselves and become more honest.
As we do the things that are truly in alignment with us.
As we become more self-aware.
We slowly remove the many layers of conditioning that have been piled on top of us (and those layers are heavy).
We feel more connected to our self.
We feel more connected to others.
We feel curious.
We feel adventurous.
We feel creative.
We let ourselves feel sad.
We let ourselves feel angry.
We let ourselves feel scared.
We no longer push and pull on the many feelings and instincts occurring within us.
We allow them to come out and be seen.
We let ourselves be as we naturally are.
We no longer seek to look a certain way.
We no longer try to project some image of ourselves onto the world.
We no longer believe the stories about ourselves that we continuously tell ourselves.
We feel, think, behave, and act in total connection with ourselves.
We are in our body.
We are not believing every thought that enters our mind.
We are aware of ourselves.
We are present.
We are open.
We let ourselves feel our closed tendencies.
We let ourselves feel our repressed pain.
We no longer view ourselves from black-and-white perspectives such as good or bad and right or wrong.
We let ourselves be free.
Free of what?
Free of the restrictions that we imposed upon ourselves.
Free of the restrictions we absorbed from our culture.
Free of the restrictions we soaked up from our childhood environment.
We let our minds be open and free of any dogma or ideology.
We let our emotions be expressed with full awareness of them.
We feel connected to all of life and the people around us.
We feel a natural sense of love for the world we live in.
This is not hippy-dippy new-age fluff.
This is psychology, emotional intelligence, self-actualization, and consciousness.
This is a mature human’s mind and being.
This is a human with their head screwed on properly.
This is about revealing our self to our self.
This is about understanding our closure and our personal trauma and pain.
This is about understanding the existential, psychological, emotional, and instinctual nature of who we are.
This is about wellness.
This is about health.
This is about the full expression of who we are without any filtering or layers of deception.
Now, let’s take a step back.
All throughout our lives, we have been presented with many choices.
We can take the routes that were given to us, or we can create our own.
Often, the routes that were given to us are the "safe" routes.
These routes are school, work, constantly seeking approval, doing what everyone else is doing, and following the traditional path in life.
None of this is "bad".
It’s just that most of this is not authentic to you.
It has nothing to do with your personal character or expression.
Nowadays, the internet has given us an extreme amount of freedom.
We can personally craft our direction in life and profit from it by monetizing our authenticity.
We can monetize our ideas.
We can monetize our actions.
We can monetize our curiosity.
We can monetize our sense of purpose.
We can monetize our sense of mastery.
We can monetize our creativity.
We can monetize our autonomy.
How many workplaces allow you to do this?
How many schools allow you to do this?
Not many.
In fact, many will discourage you from it because it doesn’t align with their goals.
Their goals are aligned with the survival of that business/organization.
They are not aligned with your personal well-being.
Here is a quote by a brilliant man named Peter Ralston:
"If ‘do unto others’ is the Golden Rule, then the Platinum Rule is this: ‘Survive!’"
As humans, we are wired to value our personal survival above all else.
This involves surviving as the idea of who we are and everything within our sense of identity.
Examples include:
Our individual identity
Our family
Our business
Our nation
Our tribe
Our planet
As we become more psychologically evolved, we expand our sense of who we are to include more of reality.
The goal of mankind is not to ensure that you maximize your authenticity and live a fantastic life.
The goal of mankind is to survive and continue surviving.
Our modern-day world is structured around simply surviving.
It has very little to do with physical, mental, or emotional health.
The majority of our businesses, schools, and organizations are not dominantly geared toward the well-being of humanity.
They care about the survival of their own asses.
Just like you.
And they should!
Who else will if they don’t?
Now, how does this affect us, our health, and our authenticity?
The problem is when we allow the "safe" routes in life to become all we know.
Meanwhile, the "safe" route is actually a larger system that seeks to use your energy for its own survival.
And you’ll do well if you take the safe routes.
You can get decent pay, some good sex, some friends, some status, and more.
You won't, however, live a life that is completely aligned with who you actually are.
You won’t be able to carve out a path that is dominantly geared to fit you!
You will be put into a "cookie-cutter" system.
You will be put into a system that has an approach or style that does not pay enough attention to individual differences.
If you like this, then go ahead.
There is nothing wrong with the "safe" routes in life.
But is it what you truly want?
Is that what the deepest part of your being wants?
It’s up to you to find out and decide. It’s your life.
I’d recommend aligning yourself with your innermost core at all times over anything else.
Trust yourself.
Trust your intuition.
Trust your gut.
Trust your heart.
Trust your mind when it is tranquil, clear, and still.
Listen to your body. It speaks to you.
Don’t listen to everyone trying to push directions on you.
Be open to people, but don’t let them manipulate you due to their personal fears.
Be fearless. Be authentic. Make bold decisions.
Enjoy your week,
Lucas Segeren