There seems to be a myth that self-actualization is simply a utopian ideal of "reaching our full potential" and isn’t very practical, realistic, or applicable to our everyday lives and moment-to-moment experiences.
This could not be further from the truth. Self-actualization is a human need, meaning that if you do not self-actualize, you will become sick.
Just like how if your body does not get enough calcium, you will be malnourished, if you do not self-actualize, your mind, body, consciousness, and soul will slowly wither, become sick, and corrupt.
Let’s take a look at what self-actualization consists of:
Developing an efficient perception of reality
Moving beyond self-interest and survival needs
Authenticity and autonomy
Self-mastery
Purpose and meaning
Openness to experience and open-mindedness
Peak experiences
Self-transcendence, universal oneness, interconnectedness, and cosmic consciousness
Acceptance of the present moment, flow, creativity, deep curiosity, playfulness, and spontaneity
Honesty and moral and ethical integrity (there are stages of moral development)
Compassion and empathy for all sentient beings (this includes bugs)
Non-conformity and the ability to carve a unique path and direction (visionary)
Tolerance for uncertainty and not knowing (instead of using beliefs to cover up underlying emotions related to this)
Integration of the disowned and repressed aspects of ourselves
Ego and construct awareness (reality is a dream)
Flexibility and adaptability
Systems thinking, holistic thinking, seeing wholes over parts, and recognizing the unity of existence
Altruism and service to others
Self-acceptance and increasing awareness of one’s shadow
Inner harmony and emotional balance
Mind-body connection
Non-judgmental attitude
Intuition and gut wisdom (following your highest bliss)
Integration of the transcendent and the mundane
Collapsing the duality between work and play
A very small percentage of the population is self-actualized. Abraham Maslow (the man who popularized self-actualization) estimated that around 1–2% of people reach the level of self-actualization. So, does this mean that 98–99 percent of people are sick?
Let us keep in mind that that estimate was made many years ago. Modern developmental psychology models state that around 10% of people are self-actualized. That still doesn’t sound too great, though, does it?
It’s important to keep in mind that high levels of development do not mean good or better, and low levels do not mean bad or worse.
These are subjective judgments that are created by your mind and do not exist "out there", but merely as figments of your imagination.
In summary, good and bad are relative, so please do not project them into this context. It simply doesn’t apply here.
What we are trying to do here is understand how to create a truly developed and healthy human psyche and society. Some questions to help us are:
How do we overcome our toxicity and sickness?
How do we get our needs met in a healthy way?
What are our needs?
How do needs evolve?
How do we learn to increase our capacity to love and develop a genuine understanding of life that is free from dogma and ideology?
How do we raise our consciousness?
How do we bring this type of thinking, feeling, acting, and relating into our relationships, businesses, day-to-day lives, education system, medical system, and so on?
These are the questions with which I am concerned. Let’s recognize that self-actualization is something we need and have to create space for in our lives and our systems. Without it, we will continue to be sick and spread our stupidity across this fantastic planet.
The modern world is interesting. We are loaded with powerful resources for cheap and/or free (education through the internet, books, travelling to seminars, workshops, etc.), but we use those resources to mindlessly distract and numb ourselves all too often.
How often does your attention go into something valuable, energizing, healthy, enlivening, deeply educating, and life-transforming versus social media, junk food, email, TV, and other forms of entertainment and distraction?
Everything has its place. I’m not saying that any of those are good or bad, but I am simply concerned about what actually creates the healthiest human psyche.
Enjoy the pleasures the modern world has to offer you, but just don’t let them enslave you (which they most likely have). Choose the sources of your dopamine wisely.
It’s important to be able to look at our daily routines, systems, and habits and be honest about them. How much stuff do we do in order to cope with repressed feelings, boredom, and numb our mind so we don’t need to resolve inner and outer struggles?
There’s no need to be defensive about our day-to-day lives. Let’s just take a look at it and the things we do, eat, think, and say and determine whether or not they contribute value to our physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing and raise our consciousness.
There’s no need to judge ourselves or be defensive about this. We simply want to observe our lives very carefully and notice how what we give our attention to is affecting our moment-to-moment state.
How does avoiding difficult emotions feel?
How does not exercising feel?
How does mindless entertainment feel?
How does living without deep intentions and purpose feel?
How does being distracted feel?
Let’s compare that with giving our attention to meaningful goals like health, wealth, relationships, and self-actualization.
How does it feel to exercise, practice meditation, read, write, contribute value to the world in authentic ways, be connected to loving, wise, and supportive people, be focused on what truly matters to you, and continuously self-actualize?
I’d like to end this with various ways to self-actualize, so you can slowly create a direction for yourself to move in. Here they are:
Self-reflection
Lifelong curiosity and continuous learning
Studying hundreds of points of view
Questioning all your beliefs
Connecting with the present moment and attuning to direct experience
Reading books designed to help you self-actualize (check out my free book list)
Writing and journaling
Meditation
Seeking help from wise elders and knowledgeable people
Solving your problems related to health, wealth, and relationships. Develop some deep skills in these areas (a topic for another newsletter).
Questioning everything. Yes, everything
Question the nature of yourself and reality.
Explore your consciousness.
Create a flexible mind.
Spend time in nature.
Focus on the transcendence of the ego/self while also integrating the ego/self.
Fearless, spontaneous, and authentic expression
Find the truth in perspectives you disagree with.
Cultivate emotional intelligence.
Notice the effects of your childhood on your psyche.
Notice the effects of culture, parents, teachers, and authority figures on your psyche.
Don’t get stuck in any one point of view.
Actively and consciously feel and become connected to your body.
Explore your repressed emotions and feel them (sounds great, right?).
Realize that reality is a dream, and notice the constructive role your mind and your awareness play in the making of reality.
Realize that your "self" is an illusion. It is not a fixed entity but a constantly changing and fluid energy occurring within formless consciousness.
Pursue personal growth. (This sounds contradictory to my last statement since there is no self.)
Appreciate the unappreciable parts of reality. They contain truth and beauty; you just need to look for them.
Realize your deepest purpose in life through knowledge, understanding, meaningful experiences, trial and error, experimentation, gut feelings, intuition, inner callings, and body sensations.
Use awareness, openness, focus, empathy, acceptance, and surrender to deepen your relationships and connections. Take a non-judgmental attitude towards others and stop trying to change or manipulate them all the time (odds are you do this a lot).
Realize that relationships will bring out your most repressed, reactive, and fearful aspects of yourself. Allow them to be seen and felt without judgment. Seek to increase self-awareness and heal these parts of yourself. The deeper the connection, the more your personal baggage comes out (don’t use this as an excuse to stay in an incompatible, toxic, or unfulfilling relationship).
Stop investing your attention in meaningless distractions that drain you.
Pursue creative projects. Everyone has creativity in them. Creativity is a developable skill.
Deepen self-acceptance and become aware of unconscious parts of yourself.
I could go on for far longer, but this is enough. Self-actualization is not a want; it’s a need. Self-actualization is a journey for the most courageous humans.
It’s hard to confront your own blocks and inner garbage every single day and see how that shapes your external reality.
We often attract people and situations that mirror both our healthy and unhealthy aspects and get upset when those things don’t give us fulfillment.
Look inside yourself. There is a complex subjective system that needs attention, energy, love, and maintenance. Stop ignoring it.
- Lucas Segeren